


If Time Allows

by intothemidnightblue



Series: Ficlets [6]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Okay this is a weird tag because technically, honestly same difference, i don't know if i would count eddie as in the timestream or the speedforce though, its about what I think goes on if you're stuck in the timestream, its an odd piece, no one's mentioned, thats why its kind of both pairs?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:03:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothemidnightblue/pseuds/intothemidnightblue
Summary: If time allows, let me see him.





	If Time Allows

If time allows, let me see him.

 

Time does allow, but time doesn't have your best intentions at heart. Time doesn't have anything at heart, so when you ask, you only have yourself to blame for what you see.

 

Time shows how his death affects you, but he didn't die in your timeline. Time shows you how your death affects him, and that's even worse than knowing you would have broken if you know that he never could break.

 

At first you look at the quiet moments he thinks of you, and you try to lash out because he never even mourned you before, there's no point now. Then you realize that time is before you died, and he just learned of what you went off to do. You learn why he didn't break, because he's been waking up each morning believing your dead until the alarm goes off and he starts his day. You didn't even see him after you left, never had a chance to go back or even play back old times.

 

Now you do, and it hurts. Time doesn't have your best intentions at heart. Your heart is what hurts the most, but it's long gone so what could that phantom pain be but a reminder that you are no more.

 

You didn't ask to see the others, but you'll catch glimpses. They handle it well, better than expected. Then again, fighting for your life doesn't leave any time to mourn. Nope, all your friends are having great adventures caring only for the living until they all make it back to their small quarters and desperately beg sleep to take them past where even you reach.

 

Time doesn't stop after death. You don't know which is worse, the past or the present? The future is too ambiguous to even make it on the list, and since you exist out of linear time, there really is no future. You are time now, you gave up any chance of ever after, which wasn't originally part of the plan. You don't resent not knowing, not when you know so much now. It's almost too much, but never enough. You know everything but you don't know what to make of it. This is all so new, despite millennia passing you by.

 

You've seen them all die, and their kids, and their kids kids, and their kids kids kids, and their kids kids kids kids and even past that, until the only thing remaining is a freckle popping up on an ancestor or two. You notice he doesn't have any kids. His line stops, maybe because he never got over laying in bed praying for death. He wouldn't even find you there, not that he's looking. He finds a few others to warm his bed, but they don't stay. Someone gives him a memento of you sixty years down the line and there, you see your man break. It's not just you on his mind, no, you were just the first reminder and the final nail in the coffin.

 

It's not really you anymore, not when you are essentially Time. You wonder if there are others trapped in between time, and you think maybe your not alone. Of course, you are alone. Time is a solitary creature, never bowing before anyone, never allowing anything or even giving more than is naturally occurring.

 

Sometimes you think you can here him calling back to you, before you look on to a memory only known by time. In some times, you come back, but not this one. They didn't learn how to get you out. You like seeing lives built when you two triumph. It's not real, well it is, just not to the you who once was. You learned more of his love through the times you were apart though. The way he talked about you when you weren't around, or the way he remembered you on an old tape or CD player or whatever time gave him.

 

You are time. There's no more of who you were before. You still watch him sometimes though. You've gotten a better handle on flowing through time. You've picked yourself back up after being spread across eons, but you've finally given a shadow of a form. You look more human, but you become less every second. By this time, you could jump out on your own if you wanted to, but time never stops for the wants of one man.

 

Time happens between everything. Between one universe and the next, and between existence and nonexistence time still happens. This is your curse. You were given the infinity no one wanted, until you were no more. Eventually, you get too far away to see him anymore. You don't care, it's over. You are time, and time doesn't stop for the will of one man.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos bring them back from the timestream  
> find me on tumblr @ [lockewoodandco](http://www.lockewoodandco.tumblr.com)  
> twit @ [ jaceisblue](http://twitter.com/jaceisblue)


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